(bear with me…this is
a long one)
Everyone in the family
had Facebook but me…
they laughed and told
me they were going to block me from getting on theirs…
from stalking…from
lurking around behind the scenes under the cover of anonymity.
For years, I was joking (even smirking) about not
joining Facebook…
joking about staying
in my cocoon…joking about no one finding me…
God was patiently
waiting…waiting to heal my wounds.
No one goes through this life without wounding...
this world will wounds us...
and sad to say...so will our brothers and sisters in Christ...
but the wounds inflicted by our brothers and sisters
can be the most lethal wounds of all.
These wounds can be
fatal…
these wounds can leave
us amputated…
these wounds can cause
us to hide.
And hiding is what I
have been doing.
I did not see the gravity
of my hiding when first stepping out into the blog world…
well, “sneaking out”
is more like it (and the phrase I used in my first post).
Never before had I
kept a secret from my best friend, my husband…
it wasn’t until my
third post that I told him.
He was thrilled for
me…encouraged me…
It still took months
for me to tell my own kids that I was blogging.
Hiding had become a
way of life…
Hiding gave me the
false sense I was controlling this part of my life.
When hiding is boiled
down to its core, fear is the root…
and when we fear, our natural
instinct is to control.
For many years I lived
controlled by the wounds of my past…
These wounds, inflicted by lies (some with
good intent) told me who I was…
it became my
identity…my way of thinking…my way of viewing the world.
By the mercies of God…
through Ann’s
gratitude community, journaling, and the “healing salve” of blogging,
He is healing my
wounds...
He is freeing me from
fear…
He is freeing me from
the need to control…
He is freeing me from
being driven by the approval of others…
He is freeing me from my
prideful “blogger’s anxiety”...
of not appearing smart or educated
(growing up with a
learning disability…that‘s for another post).
One night, I sat with
my husband as he checked updates on his Facebook…
he said, “You really
should get your own Facebook page.”…
I nervously laughed
this off for the last time.
God was getting ready
to answer the deepest desires of my heart…
God was getting ready
to answer prayers I had prayed over and over…
prayers I was praying as
I head toward senior citizen-hood.…
to live free in Him…to
grow strong in Him…physically, spiritually and emotionally.
God in His Mercy revealed how blind I had become.
I can now clearly see
the most important reason I needed to quit hiding…
because when I hold
back in fear to protect myself...
I can’t fully live my life for Him.
and I default to my
natural instinct to control some part of me.
It was time to let go
of control…to take the steps He was showing me to be free.
Step number one: Join Facebook.
So with the prodding
of my husband…we created my own Facebook page.
From this one step…I could breath more
easily…I felt an element of freedom
Step number two: Tell some of my IRL
friends that I have been blogging for over a year.
Not only was I holding
part of me back from God…
I was also holding
part of me back from the friends around me.
After I made that
first phone call…I could feel even more freedom…
Freedom that heals…
I could feel that
spiritual “itch” just like when your natural skin starts to heal...
healing that makes you
more comfortable in your own skin…
healing that helps you
start breathing again.
Until that moment…I had not realized I had
been slowly suffocating…
letting my life be robbed from life-giving air.
Now to fully walk in
the freedom He has for me…
Step number three: Encourage my blog
friends to meet my IRL friends on Facebook.
and just possibly my IRL friends meeting you here.
and just possibly my IRL friends meeting you here.
No longer hiding one
world from another…
No longer fearing
sub-par appearances and imagined consequences…
No longer wanting to
control (well mostly)…
Letting God walk me
into freedom …out into the wide open…breathing freely.
See you on FacebookJ
Continuing
to count with words and pictures….
 |
| She is medicine for the soul:) |
~4312~4327~
~traveling
with my 87 yr. old parents
~having
lunch with Amy and Ellie
~”
force opportunities” to trust God’s care for those I love
~continuing
to learn…His yoke is easy, His burdens are light.
~freedom
that comes through trust and love
~friends
who desperately seek Jesus
~peace
that accompanies sorrow
~assurance that our unborn grandlove is in the arms of Jesus
~entrusting
my daughter and son-in-love to the God of all comfort
~being
able to go to be with them
~Ellie…oh
the healing and joy she brings
~the
beauty of the Fall season
~trees
coming alive with color
~my
dear, sweet husband
~my
precious Savoir
Join me here.... @Ann's, Playdates, and Soli Deo Gloria, Graceful,
Although I can't complete relate to all of your fears, Ro, I do have many of my own about blogging and letting myself be known for all the world to see. But I'm so excited that you're choosing to overcome your fears and taking a HUGE step of courage and faith with Christ. I know He's holding you and empowering you as you walk this scary road. And we'll be there cheering you on as well, my friend!
ReplyDeleteBeth...Thanks so much...I hear the cheers. blessings to you~
DeleteLook at you! well good for you. It's funny... it really is never about the earthly things.... but the spiritual result...
ReplyDelete:)
T
T...it is so true...and isn't amazing the creator of the universe will come and us something as silly a FB to speak to me...to us...He is an amazing God. thanks for being here...my first commenter:)
DeleteI'm so glad you stepped out from under those fears and took a chance on this community. You have certainly been a blessing to me. All wounds take some time to heal and God uses all of these things. I'm cheering you on from here, my friend!
ReplyDeleteLaura...thanks so much...your place is one of those safe haven He provides...thanks for the encouragement...blessings to you~
DeleteI understand. I was a hider myself for years, sometimes I still am. Your courageous words have inspired me. Blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you V...I think all our struggles stem from the same place...they just might take different forms...blessings as you walk in greater freedom to.
ReplyDeleteRo, thank you for writing this - I have recently been through "an amputation" - I'm trying to let God just heal my wounds and push forward trusting Him - that isn't the hard part - it is trusting others that becomes difficult after such an experience. He's showing me that I don't have to - trust others so much - that is- I can simply trust Him & BE me ;) I love your list today
ReplyDeleteKeli...I am so sorry for this wounding....Yes...putting our trust in Him...and not fear giving ourselves to others...and yes...not fearing being yourself. Prayers and blessing to you sweet Keli~
DeleteI love this post, Ro, because Jesus came to set us free! He is opening doors for you in the most amazing ways. And do you know that as a caterpillar morphs into a butterfly, near the time of emergence, the chrysalis turns clear and one can see the true, new colors of the butterfly. I think you are showing your true colors, and you are flying. I am praying very seriously about blogging, but Facebook? oh. One step at a time. Actually, my adorable husband, who is the most supportive husband on the planet (well, I guess you and I could have a little disagreement on that), really leads me away from that. He doesn't like it for a # of reasons. So.........I'm thinking I am just emerging slowly by reading and loving everyone's blogs, posting and entering into these life-enriching conversations, considering a blog prayerfully.....and then we'll see what God does. But I know you are doing what He wants, and you are a beautiful buttefly! As you may recall in my book, B'flies are such an important life symbol for me. So I really GET what you are saying! Fly freely, dear Ro!
ReplyDeleteOh lynn...isn't comforting to know..we can still go through metamorphosis no matter the age...we can continue to cheer each other on as God leads us on these paths...may we fly together. Thanks friend~
DeleteThis post resonates with me so much. I am another (almost completely) anonymous blogger. Very few IRL people know of my ramblings on the internet. And you're right--it's fear and pain from past hurts that keeps me hidden. These are words to chew on. Thank you for being open and honest, and sharing your struggles.
ReplyDeletesherry...thanks for stopping by and being honest...and I pray you will find healing as well blessings to you~
DeleteLove this, Ro. You're touching so many by your honesty. We all have fears of some sort or another. I hope you'll love Facebook. I was slow to join it as well, but now I love it. I don't use it as much as I do blogging, but it's a great way to stay connected with others. Thanks for your encouragement!
ReplyDeleteLisa...thanks for your kind words. It's all a process...bringing greater freedom along the way. glad you stopped by...blessings~
DeleteYou have no idea how much I understand this post!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are not hiding anymore! You're words are SUCH a blessing and all should be reading them.
I'm so glad you joined fb. . .I'll be looking for you there:)
Bless you~
Kristin...you and your words are a blessing to me...thanks for being here...see ya on FB:)
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful that you blog, Ro. You are SUCH a blessing -- always encouraging and pouring from your heart. Now, I must go find you on FB.
ReplyDeleteWhat name are you using -- or you can find me Jennifer 'Miner' Ferguson.
DeleteJen...thanks for our kind words...you are so very encouraging as well...FB is ro elliott
Deleteoops...that would be your kind words:)
DeleteYes, I want to find you on Fb, also! Thanks for being brave enough to venture out into the online community. Hope it continues to bring you many blessings!
ReplyDeleteRenee...thanks for stopping in...glad to meet new people who are part of this community. blessings to you~
DeleteThis is so touching Ro. I'm so glad you're finding healing. You are such a blessing and your writing adds so much to this lovely community of bloggers. You have a gift, and I'm delighted you are feeling free to use it.
ReplyDeleteHow do I find you on FB?
Your words bless me deeply...thank you so much. Linda...FB name is ro elliott. thanks again...blessings~
DeleteYour words resonate with me, and I am excited about how God is leading you...So proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying about FB but if I join, I will def "LIKE" your blog...So grateful,, you are sharing your story and blogging; your wisdom and love add so much...Thanks, Ro :)
D...thanks for your kind words...the whole social media thing stretches me...hopefully will help me grow. I pray you have clear wisdom as God leads you as well. blessings~
DeleteSharing your joy in your new found freedom.
ReplyDeleteThank-you so much Glenda...thanks for dropping in...blessings
DeletePopping over from Playdates - what a great post. I can relate to both pain and healing. I am so happy that God is leading you into a new place with Him. Dance in freedom! Blessings from Croatia: A Little R & R: www.littlerandr.org
ReplyDeleteRosilind...wow...this is one of the beautiful ways social media works...Croatia..how could I have contact with someone like this from another country. Thanks so much for dropping in...I look forward to visiting your place too. blessings to you~
DeleteRo,
ReplyDeleteWhat's most amazing is that as God heals us, he uses us to help heal another. "The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes!" Visiting from Be Not Weary, and glad I did :)
Lori...yes...HIs Grace is truly amazing...so glad you stopped by...blessings~
DeleteI like how you said when we hide we can't fully live our lives for Him. Thanks for sharing how you are reaching out your wings and flying and being healed in the process.
ReplyDeleteKatleen...when I can see where my chooses effect my relationship with God...I become more motived to let go. thanks for stopping in...blessings to you~
DeleteOh Ro - How much we have in common. My fb world has been separate from my blog world for over a year. Then, one day, I accidently posted a blog post to my fb page. It happened to be the one of my first video blog. I didn't know until I came back later, checked my fb and found a flood of comments. Boy was I embarrassed. My worlds are still somewhat separate...although getting more linked every day. God is helping me break down these walls. And be transparent with those around....in every way. Only by grace. Blessings my friend, jen
ReplyDeleteJen...oh He does have ways of knocking down those walls for us...I am trying to let the 2 merge organically...getting myself out of the way..blessings as we both allow God to bring greater freedom. blessings`
DeleteSo glad you took that first step...I too have found healing for some of my wounds by blogging. It wasn't the hiding aspect I needed to overcome, it was the self-focus on my problems that I needed to overcome. And blogging helped me reach out and write for others and put my own problems in perspective. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGail...Thanks for sharing your story...glad you stopped by..blessings~
DeleteOh beautiful RO I can hear and feel the freedom ring in your heart and in your soul. May you experience beautiful life-giving freedom from Him in all areas of your world. Your joy is contagious I can hear it and I say you go girl!!!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth...your words encourage my soul...thanks for taking the time to stop by and share these kind words...blessings~
DeleteAppreciate your sharing.
ReplyDeleteDenise...thanks...blessings to you~
DeleteIs everybody writing on fear today, or what??
ReplyDelete(Maybe it's just the message I needed to hear, and He knows how to get it to me, eh?)
Rejoicing with you in your freedom, friend.
He has come to set captive free!
Keli...I think fear, in some way, is in our DNA as a woman...God does come to set us free...break off these chains...so very thankful for the work of HIs Spirit. Blessings to you as you continue to find freedom too~
DeleteI am so glad you visited my blog and commented! I am continually amazed at the way God works things out. I have been really struggling with "hiding". It has been heavy on my mind this very week.
ReplyDeleteStarting my blog has been a big part of that. It has been so very freeing.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Many blessings!
Vicki...it is amazing how many people struggle with hiding...so glad you are finding freedom too...thanks for stopping by...blessings and happy blogging~
DeleteI can so relate to the hiding because of fear. I'm so glad that God led you to blog because your words have ministered to me in so many ways. And I'm so excited that you are on FB now! We have to get connected:)
ReplyDeleteChrisitna...I am thankful for you and many others who have encouraged me along the way...yes...learning how to connect on FB...see ya there. blessings~
DeleteI'm smiling about this post... and laughing b/c I read my husband's and son's facebook pages over their shoulders some time,too. Blessings as you step out of hiding and share those beautiful words of yours with even more readers.
ReplyDeleteAlicia...oh well...it might be time for you too:) thanks for stopping by...blessings to you~
DeleteThank you for this. So what did your friends say when you told them you've been blogging? NOBODY but my husband knows about my blogging. I'm afraid to tell my kids (who are young, anyway). The thing I tell myself now about telling my friends is that it's been so long, they will be mad I didn't tell them sooner! So I let one thing or another keep me in hiding.
ReplyDeleteYou've given me much to think about!
Amber...I am surprised by how many people keep blogging a secret...My children are young adults ..my daughter was blogging well before me...I thought she would be upset that I hid if from her for so long...but just like the friends I have told so far....grace is what I received. I shared with them honestly...like I shared here and they gave me grace. It was a strange feeling to post this one...knowing that people who know in IRL will now read this...but it's all part of the freedom. I encourage you to ask God why you don't tell...everyone's reason is different...but hiding produces the same fruit in us all. Blessings and Grace as you seek God's wisdom. So glad you stopped in~
DeleteI know the wounding and the hiding. It's hard to let the walls down, to become vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for all your kind encouragement to me.
Elizabeth...it really is sad how many know this kind of wounding...the building of walls...blogging has been way to experience a new way of community...and it has brought some healing. I appreciate your heart and thanks for dropping by~
DeleteI join the chorus of people cheering you on, as you walk straight through your fear to find freedom on the other side. You are so sweet, Ro, such an encourager to others. And I hope we can be the same for you. Love you!
ReplyDeleteJennifer...thanks so much...your place and others have been part of God's healing touch. love to you to my friend...blessings~
DeleteDitto to Jennifer's comment. I'm going to go find you on Facebook now.
ReplyDeleteCan't seem to find you under Ro Elliott for some reason. Friend me, Shelly Miller and Shelly Miller,Writer when you get the chance.
Deletewierd...I don't know enough about FB why that name would not show up...I sent a request to you~
DeleteShelly...thanks~
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time visiting your blog - I'm here by way of Duane Scott's site. I totally understand a lot of your feelings. Blogging has been so freeing for me, too. What a joy to just express yourself and be who you are- a wonderful creation of God.
ReplyDeleteJerralea...so glad you stopped by...yes...God does want us to celebrate who we are in Christ~ blessings~
DeleteI definitely get this. I fought everything on the internet for a long time (no email, no facebook, etc.). But the writing world kind of plunges you in, and now I'm all in, lol. It has been worth it though there are still times I get overwhelmed by it all. Glad you jumped in, and it's nice to meet you :)
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you too Lori...I am very new at all this...becoming more comfortable...thanks for stopping in...blessings~
DeleteOh my goodness, Ro. No wonder we're kindred!
ReplyDeleteConfession: I struggle with hiding...
I had my blog in private mode for months even --just me and my Savior were able to see it. then I told my husband about it, who told me if I was going to do that, to do it right and offer myself to be used by Him. Still, I don't talk about my blog on my personal Facebook page! ugh. I must fix this...
You're inspiring me, friend...always encouraged by you to keep striving. thank you!
All for Him with hugs to you,
Nikki
Nikki...I have been a little surprised how many people do struggle with merging the two worlds...My deepest desire is not to control my life...so even in the smallest and seemingly insignificant ways...I want to let go. blessings to you...maybe I will see you on FB~
DeleteOh that baby!! So precious.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I publish a post and then hyperventilate and feel so naked, so vulnerable. I understand you, friend. Much love.
Ashley...yes she is just adorable...can’t get enough of her. thanks for stopping by...blessings to you~
DeleteRo, you are so beautifully courageous and gentle, too. Oh, how He shines through you! I am so blessed! Yay--can't wait to send you a "friend request" on Facebook! :)
ReplyDeleteIf you want, you can find me at Jennifer Johnson Camp. I had trouble finding the right Ro Elliot. :) Bless you, Ro!
Deletewow...i would have never imagined there would be more than 1 ro elliott. thanks...I will look you up~
DeleteI can relate to your fears of telling family you blog. Once it was done, I don't think of it anymore. Once in a blue moon I remember my niece or my s-i-l or my brother is reading. But, I am who I am. Just like Popeye. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy girl...I know once we let go of fear...we can feel a bit like Popeye...just so much stronger...thanks for dropping in~blessings~
DeleteRo...your words teach me something each and every time you write and I am better always after visiting you here. Thank you for the truth you write and live, and for the beautiful example you are! So excited to connect with you on Facebook too :) Much love to you!
ReplyDeleteJacque...thanks for your kind words...I love connecting with you too..love to you my friend...blessings~
DeleteI read this and my heart swelled and I thought if I knew you IRL I would get up right now and come to your house and give you a big hug! There is risk to coming out of hiding because we fear not only being hurt but hurting others even if we don't mean to.
ReplyDeleteI am on Facebook. My daughter set me up. There are a few exceptions but I have only friends that have requested me to be their friend. There's a insecurity that wells up in me that keeps me from thinking that others would want to be my fb friend so most often I don't ask. So the fear of rejection is raising its ugly head it seems. God has not given us a spirit of fear has He?
I love what God is doing in your life and I am celebrating that with you--because this, my friend, is much deeper than getting on Facebook! Awesome!
Dea...Oh yes...much deeper...I have been surprised how God can use this whole blogging...social media thing to set me/us free. These feelings of hiding...being unworthy...rejection that we feel in real life...we can feel here too. I am learning to invite Him into every wrong thought and ask Him to set me free...if I feel it here...it is only multiplied IRL. This is a good place to allow God to heal these places...and bring us to greater freedom. Thanks for the FB request. blessings to you~
ReplyDeleteI so get this, friend
ReplyDelete...I hid in fear for sooooo long
and have found freedom dancing
and twirling in the light
i so avoided.
thanks for this sweet inspire,
Jennifer
oh yes. I get this fear. so proud of you walking right into it! I'm at: Tara Pohlkotte and Pohlkotte Press page. I want to join in the encouraging you on-line too! :)
ReplyDeleteRo Elliot,
ReplyDeleteSo this is your page. It's nice to find it again. I can't always tell which page is yours. Welcome to blogging, to no longer hiding, and to safety and grace.
Good job to your man for encouraging you to blog also. :)
Have a good week, friend.
Jennifer Dougan
www.jenniferdougan.com
I am so glad you faced your fear, that you are learning not to hide - that you are free-falling in Him! Reading posts like this, messages from God on the inside pulled out and shared - help me live much more gracefully IRL!
ReplyDelete