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Monday, August 29, 2011

One more closing...and opening of doors...

Most things in life have an upside and a downside…jobs, school, sports…and even home schooling. One of the greatest fruits of this labor is the bond of love that is forged through the fire…this fire melds hearts together…forming a lasting bond.

Downside… well for me…letting go…each step a child takes toward the leaving process…each change to the family dynamics…just might be felt a little deeper in the home schooling family.

My mother’s mind tells me…this is right…this is healthy…but my mother’s heart…cries something else.

So this week for the second time…my mind is happy…joyful…rejoicing…but my mother’s heart cries something else.

My son will marry this Saturday…a lovely young lady…one God brought to him…joyful…thankful.

As he goes…just like my daughter before him…my heart feels the strain…the pull…as he sets forth to leave and cleave.

Leaving and cleaving…so crucial…so foundational to building of a new life…God spoke it clear…so the two will become one…my mind says…Yes and Amen.

But my heart…my heart hurts… because it understands …that I… as a mom… have a role in that process.  With my daughter, God enlightened me to the reality of His ways…One door was closings…I must let her completely walk through that door… and I was not prepared for the ache in my heart as she journeyed toward the “two becoming one.”  With the closing of one door… the death of one relationship…another door was opening…a new door and a resurrection to a new relationship…one with wonderful new experiences as mother and daughter …and I find out overtime…the latter does surpass the former.

Now expecting a new baby...part of the wonderful new experiences...
And once again…I am standing at that door…one closing…but this time I wait…wait with hopeful expectancy(and with sons it's a little easier:) … to discover what gifts will  be opened as I travel through this new door.

~joy in my soul
~everyone home for dinner
~adult boys enjoying each other...glimpses of childhood
~finding songs for the video
~getting the finishing touches done on the video
~long talks with married daughter
~a very helpful husband
~continued grace for all the changes
~the nearness of God
~assurance of things hoped for
~walking in more freedom...oh God's kindness and grace
~becoming more comfortable....being out of my comfort zone...in the blog world
~the wisdom and honesty of women's hearts in the blog community
~God bringing two together whose bond and hope is in HIM!


  1. Oh how I know your heart. Not sure boys are easier though...two of my boys married two months apart...and had babies a year later six months apart. It was hard to be the mother of the groom and dad. A girl's mother is always a step closer to those sacred, intimate moments. A boy's mother has to wait and watch from the sidelines...at least for a while.

    This is a season of letting go and embracing. Letting go and embracing. It's a strain on our hearts, for sure...a strain I do believe those of us who homeschooled our children feel more intensely.

    Praying for you now...that the joy of all these good, good things will overshadow the hurt as you savor the gifts.

  2. I do agree...a girl's mom is closer to those sacred moments...building a relationship with the daughter-in law takes more careful steps then with the son in law. I will say...being a few steps back for the wedding is nice...but when the baby comes...that will be a different story...i guess it goes back to that upside and down side thing.
    Thanks for stopping by...

  3. This is a beautiful post - how you likened it to closing the door to one relationship, yet opening to another.

    Thanks for visiting Reflections of His Grace Today.


  4. Thanks for stopping by....

  5. Oh girl you sound like such a thoughtful mother in law.
    What color is your dress?

  6. T...that is my prayer....
    Well...when you procrastinate when looking for the dress...being MOG...I did was not in such a hurry as when I was MOB...so I like my dress...out of the ones that I had to choose from...this is my favorite...but maybe not one I would have picked first....it is champagne...more with a yellow/brown hue..not pinky...with some light brown flowers...But with a beautiful bride...what does it matter:)

  7. What a lovely post! Watching our babies marry is HARD, but as you've already discovered, each new stage of life is lovely and precious in its own way. Congratulations on the new baby. I can assure you grandparenting is, in my humble opinion, Heaven On Earth :)

    I'm praying for you and your sweet family this week as you prep for the Big Day...and I'm so glad to "meet" you :)

  8. Oh yes...I think your right...granbabies...heaven on earth.
    Nice to "meet" you too...thanks so much for stopping by.

  9. Blessings to you and your family as these new doors are opened. What an amazing stage of life you are in!

    Thank you for visiting my blog -- so nice to "meet" you!

  10. I understand the ache so well, only from the other side. I was homeschooled all but two years of my entire education. It is a deep and difficult bond to navigate, that 24/7 connection. I hope this calm before the fevered pitch of the weekend is a sweet time indeed!

  11. Beautiful! It is such an encouragement to me to hear about His faithfulness in different seasons... sometimes the "toddler" season seems unending and overwhelming. His grace is sufficient in all circumstances. I can't wait to hear about the new doors He plans to open for you! :)


  12. so great that my sis T is such a frequent visitor of your blog- I understand why! love this blog so much thought, so much back and forth between the good and sad...but ultimately you are getting another daughter! how amazing! Congratulations on the growth of your heritage.

  13. This post is just beautiful. I love your honesty. Mine are young, but I can feel the pain...and then the reassurance that the latter, the new door, surpasses the closed one. Oh, that is comforting and beautiful. God is good.

  14. Oh Beck...my daughter could write her story too...the pain of being the oldest daughter...like a second mom to the younger 2...it is a journey for all.

    Melanie...those years seem like yesterday...when they are that age...the days can go slowly...but the years move fast. Thanks for stopping by.

    Kelly...a small blog world...thanks for your kind words.

    Theresa...Thanks for stopping by and looking around...Yes God is good..
    Blessings to each of you~

  15. beautiful post, Ro! i see the "Ells" with your picture, and then i forget that "Ro" is your name, because i came to meet and know you at first as Ells. sorry for when i slip up on this (hope im not giving your secret away;)

    Ann Voskamp joined your site--wow. arent you the lucky and very blessed lady?

    thank you for your words of encouragement over on sixinthesticks today--means so much to me. i left a little response there, but wanted to come over here and read anyway.

    i loved "the nearness of God"--something i've been holding onto lately. and i only hope and pray that i can form the bond that you have with your children through homeschooling.

    i know we just met, but you've already captured my heart.

    thank you, thank you, thank you.

  16. Oh Nacole...you have captured my heart as well...you're a precious young lady...and you are on the right path...building heart connections with your girls.

  17. Beautiful post. The leave-taking time is hard on Mothers' hearts. God's grace responds. Praying grace will cover your heart.